Some new drawings. I find it difficult to solve the issues I"m working on given the little modeling time I actually get. Here are some of the concerns(1) to get the structural dimensions of the figure,(2) to get the figures' skin ,(3) to get the natural light correct,(3) to explore a new sense of space around the figure-that isn't what's actually there;(4) to let accidents lead the work rather than being bound by the "objective facts";(5) to look for those internal and external clues that lead up to psychological reading of the figure(6) to figure where my personal internal responses lie, and how they get into the drawing,(7) to stay sensitive to my own natural gifts which may lead me in a direction different from what I tell myself are the issues,(8) to forget all the images in my mind from art history,(9) to remember all the images in my mind from are history(10) to stay focused and not be distracted by my environment.

The model I was drawing here was a large woman very beautiful and tremendously interesting to draw. One aspect was simply to get her bulk which had a kind of organic beauty to it. Another was her skin in all it's particularity-at times taught,or slack, shinny or dull bumped or smooth--just alot of different skin textures.She had long beautiful hair which laid across her body and down ,and around it, in such amazing and interesting patterns. All of this of course called up some of Lucian Freuds' paintings

Not to forget how beautifully the light played across her body and its shapes. In addition,drawing a large woman is rather atypical so that all my expectations were constantly being thrown off.And she of course was talking as well as were the other artists drawing her--which made psychological analysis at once more difficult and easy. Doing all of this in 20 minutes. What a challenge. What fun.

Here are four more drawings. In some I've tried to play with the space around the figure using smudges,fingerprints,etc. In others I've left in more of the envelope lines so that a viewer could follow the thought process in doing the drawing. What is interesting to me about this model is my response to him, and how my own cognitive machinery structures the act of my perception of facts about him.

When I think of him using one set of cognitive apparatus I seem to "see " him in one way. When I use another set, I perceive his poses another way. He tends to take stereotype poses that also evoke certain responses. there's alot of other things going on, but one other set of issues that interests me is that with each pose I take a moment and ask myself:what is it in this pose that interests me? Unfortunately, what I think interests me at the outset isn't what often interests me mid way, more what finally becomes the focus.

I find the whole process of drawing so terribly interesting. Sometimes in twenty minute poses the challenge of just getting the light right overwhelms. At other times working on these in the studio days later, they evolve into something different entirely/

At other times I'm engaged in self talk: telling myself not to lose focus,or be distracted my the not very serious atmosphere around me, or to take heart,you can nail this pose, or simply not to give up.

it's like an athlete talking to him or her self before,during and after their event.

Many times there's a short little moment when my motif becomes clear but usually it suddenly disappears and I'm lost again. constantly, I'm telling myself to search for the new, be open especially to accidents of materials, or don't repeat the old.

It almost like a self talk computer program outlining a series of drawing rules,or guidelines bouncing off the emotional excitement or lack thereof in the act of drawing. all of this is grounded in, or going on in my state of health, whether or not I had dinner, who's yelling at who in the drawing group, or what kind of music is playing.--racing against the twenty minute pose deadline.

What an interesting process.

Here are 4 more drawings.I'm still feeling rusty and need to up my figure drawing skills.Perhaps go back to earlier restrictions on what elements I am restricted too.

Here are three new drawings. What surprises me is how hard it is for me to get a consistent streak of high quality images. So many things seem to interfere with the level of work i get out of myself. Recently my drawings have dropped several levels.Due to not drawing twice a week, quality of modeling, my illnesses and my wife's, and perhaps most importantly how focused I can stay in the drawing group. I think I probably have attention deficit disorder because I have such a difficult time focusing on noticing my response to the model,and staying on task.. My awareness just drifts away .. very frustrating.

Four more drawings. They seem terribly unfinished but for some reason I've been reluctant to change,or even work on any of them. Why? I don't know.

It's been a while since my last blog. I've forgotten where the train of my argument was going,so I'll try to reorient myself by restating it.

Drawing the figure ,or landscape painting for that matter, involves three focuses: 1-between the artist and his/her model;2-between the artist and his/her developing drawing,3- between the artist and what's going on in his/her mind/body.

The general problem is: what data does the artist/i.e me include in the drawing--given that I have these three focuses to sample.


The goal is to develop my own individual self expression, or style, or medium/content. This is similar to what Matisse and Delacroix thought: to express your own voice within tradition while carrying it forward in your own unique voice,and without being limited by tradition.

What data then do I choose from whats going on inside my mind/body;from the materials of drawing -however that defined, and from visual data before me i.e. the naked figure.

Matisse,Cezanne, and a host of artists I deeply respect talk about fixing, or getting,or returning to there initial sensations. Matisse talks about recognizing what the model causes to arise in the artist as an emotional response to the model.

Further more he talks about the original artist being able over time, and under different conditions to call back, or remember, or clarify , or fix those sensations in the work .The more original an artist the more he/she can sustain this effort over a long time until it is finished and then, the artist is"relieved" of the burden,or the emotions.

In some ways this is almost like emotions recalled in tranquility.

One of the problems I have with this is that the terms used are so vaguely defined that I don't know what these artist were actually talking about--when I try to compare what they said with the reality of my own experiences.

Another is that few artists I know as friends or fellow artists talking about these issues honestly.
Take Lucien Freud . He talks always claiming to be absolutely honest,but for me he's always career or reputation building.--rarely do I feel like he's honest. Always self promoting.

Critics by and large are no better: a critic doesn't build an artist career but foremost their own.
There are exceptions--R.Hughes, some L. Gowing, P.Berger to name a few.

Finally, there are several overall and overarching problems: language, and translating from other languages, conceptual apparatus--for example how do we talk about mind,and the self,
the place of art within society, and issues in art history.

In general, I would say when I stand before a model to draw or paint, I start asking myself what interest me in the pose, or start by noticing what are my emotional responses to the model.

All kinds of things flood into my conscious awareness. Sometimes I follow the sheer beauty of the model trying to capture that;other times I want to avoid doing what has become habitual. In other instances, I want to remember to do x,or try y.sometimes I seen to follow wild hunches, or my intuitions..Out of this somehow comes my own style.

But the language of all this self description is laced with outdated concepts,models, and words--conscious,unconscious,impulse,sensations.

The problem I have is that I studied psychology and the language of the self before the computational model of mind overran psychology. Big parts of me resist the computer model of the mind and the evolutionary biology/ psychology of creative functioning.

The only answer i know so far is to struggle on alone stating things in as plan a English as I can,with as much clarity as I can.